Halloween Observations

Halloween really is a strange holiday. You dress your kids up and haul them around to stranger's houses to collect normally off limit piles of candy on a school night. Having survived another Halloween, I thought I would give my perspective.

1) Halloween, for me, is the most stressful Holiday of the year. That's right, even more stressful then Christmas and figuring out the perfect gift for (insert relative name here) or hosting a houseful of picky eaters for Thanksgiving. I understand that I create my own stress, but I just like my kids to have unique and clever costumes. Preferably coordinating with each other. Although I will say, as they get older and more opinionated, it is actually easier when they are specific about what they want to dress up as. Although, I will say, my ideas are usually cuter.

2) I buy way too much candy, way too early. Put it this way - last year I didn't make it out of the Target parking lot before ripping into one bag. In my defense, it was lunch time and no kids were present to see. This year we used candy as potty training bribery for the coveted "number 2." All I can say is that after 3 weeks of this, Chloe is 100% trained. I know how to motivate another female, and that is with chocolate.

3) The Reese's Lovers assortment giant bag that I bought this year was clearly defective. I noticed that all the Fast Break bars were gone from the bag when I poured it into our bowl, though it clearly said they were part of the mix. What crooks. Ummmm... side note, Fast Breaks (should I have had some) are just awesome. There might just be some addictive narcotic in those things.

4) There is no better day of the year for Halloween to fall on then a Sunday. By the end of the weekend when my kids are tired and all off schedule, Halloween makes for the best nap day of the year on a weekend. Because the thought of not getting any candy and missing trick or treating is enough to get almost 3 hours out of both of them at the same time. Heck... all three of them. Jason even joined in.

5) I'm thankful for the social side of Halloween. This year the dad's were nominated to walk the kids around while the mom's sat in our chairs, bowl of candy in lap, by a fire pit and enjoying the sights.

6) Speaking of sights, grown men over 6 feet tall should not dress up as clowns. Ever. I still see you when I close my eyes at night.

7) It wasn't until I had kids of my own who had a pumpkin full of some of my favorite candy that I realized that my parents weren't really checking my candy for "razor blades" before I was allowed to eat it. For some reason my snickers bars and Reese's cups were always in the suspicious pile, and I really believed that you truly don't know your neighbors and the sickos who might be out there. All candy must be subjected to a full pat down and suspicious items must be quarantined.

8) After making our neighborhood round and getting the kids to settle down, there is always a Wave 2 of kids that come through, usually piled in the back of a truck carrying giant pillowcases. Most are at least 14 years old.

9) Claire's commentary, as she gave out candy to Wave 2: "Daddy, that boy just took twenty-hundred pieces of candy!" "Daddy, that girl didn't even say thank you!" "Daddy, he doesn't even have a costume on!" and "Daddy, they are walking in the GRASS!!" Before long, we flick the lights off, having had enough of Wave 2.

10) Between the candy sneaking in the parking lot, the potty celebrations and the razor blade searching, I can honestly say I am DONE with candy for a long time. I almost wish Wave 2 would come back to take the rest off my hands.